Some times....I am really really happy that I have a peaceful, "normal" life that is similar to my parents' lives. I look forward to having kids, staying home with them and having a wonderful husband who works hard for us. It's comfortable and nice to always have someone I can count on. I don't mind living in a small house or being poor, I am happy.

Then other times....I am really restless. I'd like to live the bachelor's free life. Maybe drive a truck. Maybe live in a "hole in the wall" place and have next-to-nothing. I'd like to be wild, smoke and drink, have sex occasionally just to experience someone else than my husband. Dangerous. Sleep anywhere, no routine, the only peace I would get would have to come from within.

It's like the struggle of my life. When I am stressed I wanna say 'fuck it all' and just go live the wild life. When I am more comfortable I enjoy the constantness of a home, material possessions and a loving husband.

I should be extremely thankful for what I have. And I am. But times like this when things are very upset and uncertain just drive me to the other extreme. I'm not sure if the real person shows under stress, or if it's just the stress.

Currently Listening Unleashed see related

WE MADE IT!!!!

WE'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR A YEAR TODAY!!!!!!!!!!

We already ate out in celebration. I asked off work for today, and we went indoor rock climbing.

Well I'm getting back into the cleaning/decluttering mood. Tomorrow is my last day of class, and I have a paper due that I haven't even started yet. I have been tossing around ideas for about two weeks, but I never could really settle on one thing. It will be easy to write, I just have to do it.

We are about to eat spaghetti for the second time this pay-period. *sigh* My sister and I went clothes shopping and I spent about $40 on 3 tank tops, a T-shirt dress, some eye makeup and a pair of earrings. Not bad but I didn't really need to spend the money.

Baby and I went out to eat for my birthday (late) and our anniversary (early). He actually did NOT get a hamburger! I was proud of him. I got the smaller order of ribs and he got a ribs and chicken combo meal. I got a frozen strawberry margarita  with my meal. I'm not a heavy drinker, (especially when I'm gonna drive later) but it is nice to be able to if you want to.

We also visited my mommy because she made me a birthday cake. It was yummy and very sweet of her to make it for me. My dad came home from work while we were still there so we got to see him too. It was a good visit.

Currently Listening Songs About Me By Trace Adkins Baby I'm Home see related